spetharrific:

honestliars:

I really can’t picture anyone at all having a crush on me. I can’t picture anyone daydreaming about me.  I can’t picture someone thinking about me when they’re lay in bed before they fall asleep. I can’t picture anyone telling their friends about me. I can’t picture anyone getting butterflies because I hugged them, or even just because I made eye contact with them. I can’t picture someone smiling because my name lit up their phone. I just can’t.

i think people might have. i mean i hope people have, considering.. well, i won’t go into things. i’m just trying to be realistic. i think there are levels and kinds of feelings: attraction, desire, longing, heartache, love, etc. but the odd thing is:

i can’t imagine someone having a crush on me.

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Heh.

I suppose for the same reason as above, I can’t imagine people ever liking me in a romantic fashion.

Though I suppose, the reasoning would be slightly different. I don’t really know myself. Not entirely.

But the things I do know repulse myself to some extent. I exhibit many traits I find undesirable and thus can’t picture anyone falling for me.

On the physical side as well, I am well aware I am no looker. Maybe average or below average in looks and on the heavy side.

So in the end I can’t see anyone seeing past my flaws and weaknesses, because I can’t.

So I guess really, this is a case of “If I can’t love myself, no one else possibly could.” 

feelings at 2:43 am wheeeee